Breakfast

     This past weekend I finally got to see an old friend visiting home from college! She's not actually old like 60 years old, but old as in I've known her for a while. -It was refreshing. When we saw each other she gave me a big old hug; the type that sorta catches you off guard but in a good way. She also welcomed me with a gift which I didn't expect at all. It was a nice plus not gonna lie.

     We sat down in a booth in the corner at this cool diner restaurant we've come to appreciate. It's comfy looking. The outdated furniture makes it seem like you're at your grandma's house, and the food tastes better than it costs. A nice waitress greeted us and we both got the usual water. No need to pay extra for diabetes right? Anyways, we got right to talking about how college life was treating us so far. 

     She talked about how she's diverted from some friends, but have made a great deal of new ones. Her roommate has seemed to be someone who resembles her unique personality. Someone also intricate...but in a different way. She's also a Christian too which is great. Then we got our cheap, delicious breakfast food and talked some more. We exchanged more college experiences, I caught her up on NOVA things, and we talked about how excited we were to do cheesy activities in the winter time with friends. But what I noticed throughout our conversation was that she's changed- 

     It's not in a bad way which you've probably been guessing, but a good kind of change. I could tell that she's genuinely happy. It's not that I didn't think she was before, that's not the point. It's that the way she presented herself and the way she talked was different. She laughed a lot more, and also the way she listened to me talking made me know that she actually cared. All I was really thinking the whole time was "wow, she's so happy and that's so cool!" I know it sounds too simple to the point that it's insignificant, but I just admired how refreshing the whole experience was. Also it's not that I even said anything that exciting or our topics were incredibly out of the ordinary, but she just found it all important enough to smile and nod about. But it wasn't the "I don't care alright" kind of way; it was the "I'm sincerely interested" type. That's something more people should do. At least I think so. 

     It doesn't make sense I know, but it was just a wonderful breakfast at this comfy diner with an old friend, and I wanted to talk about it.

Missing An Old Friend

     In the grand scheme of the world it's hard to grasp the idea of the future, and a good one at that when things are going the complete opposite. It's inevitable that life will suck at times but I suppose that's what builds character and molds us into the unique personalities we are today blah bla bl... But in the moments that we realize not much is greener on the other side, there's this deep feeling of sadness that can bury inside of ourselves. Sometimes it's the emotional ride we personally experience and have to find contentment with, or sometimes it has nothing to do with us but people we care about. I suppose an old friend would be a good example of that.

     This feeling I have inside of me is a great mixture of my flaw of sympathizing too much, and the habit of overthinking things that don't directly concern me. The situation is an old friend of mine is in trouble and I have the deepest feelings for him. It's not the romantic one that you've been assuming up to this point, but the kind that you have for a few people in this world. There are only a handful who have struck my heart whenever theirs were broken. You can't really choose these few they just naturally take over your sympathy and that's that. You feel the way they feel and it's incredibly real to you. In simpler terms, you worry because you're worried about the pain they're feeling. 

     With this great importance of Old Friend to me, I find myself thinking about the amount of stress and pain they're enduring and how much I want to help comfort them. You see the thing is like I said earlier, life isn't so easy. I'm not able to reach out to see how they're doing, and they don't have a wide range of people who can give them complete ease. It creates a sense of discomfort and uneasiness in the pit of myself, but there's not much I can do. With that in mind I also find my thoughts wandering about what I could've possibly done to prevent all of this. I suppose some will tell me there is nothing I could've done to change the present, but is that all so true? No one is clearly certain about the outcome of events, and one little change of action could have made the world of a difference. Although I guess it's much wasted time thinking about it in the present right now when it's all in the past. 

       Despite the solemn tone I've been writing throughout this, I know there's a silver lining. Life isnt a dark collection of unfortunate events, but an ever growing one of little happy moments and trinkets that bring us joy. I just wanted to talk about the intense feelings we have that come before. In all honesty that's what feels extremely real to us and leaves a residue inside. Besides that though, I do believe all of these bad experiences are good for us in someway. It's like when you take that gross cough medicine. Although I stopped taking medicine a few years ago... but that's besides the point. Things get better even if it tastes bad for a little. 

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