Missing You

     Missing someone: it's a feeling that can't be understood by anyone else, and only fixed with one solution. Maybe it's usually found within romantic relationships, but it can reside in other ones as well.

     The actual feeling's intense. It's longing driven by passion. All you want is to be with blank person, but for some reason you can't. Distance, pride, busyness; anything can really separate you. You may ease the pain by imagining yourself being with them, or you reminisce of good memory you've had. The past is your best friend, because it's all you have. It may bring peace, but it's only temporary. 

     It's frustrating because there's little you can do when you miss someone. That's what'll create the most pain. In this day and age you may send a text, snap, fb message to put you on their mind. In other cases you create coincidental interactions, or if you're bold enough even call. They're ways you let them know you're thinking of them. And those means (indirect communication) is a way to talk to them without talking to them; although it's more so to relax your own uneasiness. Nonetheless, whether they know what you're doing or not, to you these are subtle gestures to make sure they don't completely forget about you. Or even worse, get used to being without you. So any contact is good enough when you reach the point of longing for another person. Therefore you try to do every little thing you can to say you miss them without using honest words. Because honest words means you have to be fearless, and fearlessness require vulnerability. You're secretly hoping that these gestures remind them of you. Maybe they'll show you just how much you're missed as well. 

     Distance is separating; it takes too much time and effort. Pride is necessary; vulnerability means weakness. Life is busy; things need to get done and well. Although does making time for someone you really care about that hard? Even in those circumstances? Yes. As much as I want to say no, I've learned that's not the case. If it was that easy, missing each other would be a minor task... but I know you can always make more effort. It's not a matter of if you're trying, but how hard are you.  

      Although what I've learned is that missing someone isn't the most painful thing we can experience. It's not the heartache that's felt when you can't be with that person, or the frustration that come from trying to express it. It's not about cherishing old memories. It's not feeling alone. The hardest thing we can experience is being unsure of whether or not we are missed at all.